As with any problem you can't solve it without first having some form of information. No matter how small or how large a difficulty without taking stock of where you are it can be difficult to move forward. I personally feel that unless you can freely admit to yourself your situation you can't ever really fix a problem. But no one wants to let themselves in on the secrets we like to hide, no one wants to admit to imperfections that we often ignore.
It feels like the hardest part of making a big change in your life is after hearing all the bad and negative about yourself is having the willpower to continue with your goal. So yesterday I had to sit down and be honest with myself about a few things and really take stock of what I've been doing to myself. It's one thing to be aware of the fact I'm well over weight, it's another to hear it in pounds or inches. And the worst feeling is that this is all my own doing, no one forced me into this state apart from myself and now I have to be the one to drag myself out... do I have the energy or even the skills to achieve such a goal?
You know what... being fat is easy. I can eat what I like, exercise as little as I want and not have to worry or questions my decisions. Or at least that's how it feels when faced with the challenge of changing things. I need to remind myself that being fat isn't just easy it's also incredibly depressing. Having the hardest time finding clothes that fit or even look nice, not being able to go swimming, feeling out of breath after climbing the stairs, not being able to fit into a seat on an airplane or simply having people look at you differently. What does your weight say about you? Mine says I've lost control and have given up on myself and I don't want to be that kind of person. I'd rather be strong than weak, I'd rather be my own person instead of living under a label of 'fat.'
Facing up to such truths isn't nice, but neither is being in this position in the first place. I need to find the strength to pull myself out of here but from where that can come... I'm open for suggestions
